The Watertown Public Opinion

July 20, 2019

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BEMIS – Harlo Wildeboer was always told he needed to take it easy because he was born with a weak heart. He didn’t expect to live past age 40, much less see the age 72 or his 50th wedding anniversary, which he and his wife Donna celebrated last weekend. 

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Although Harlo didn’t know what was wrong with his heart when he was growing up in Bemis, he did know his chest pains and pounding heart were getting worse as he grew up.

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“There were times when I was in bed at night and I’d roll up my fist and lay on my stomach and think I probably wouldn’t live ‘til morning the way my heart hurt,” Harlo said.

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In 1967, when he was 20, his neighbor Ben Sleiter, who Harlo helped with farm chores, convinced him to take a trip to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, to find out if anything could be done to help him.

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“When I went down, I was told I had two years to live if nothing was done,” Harlo said.

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He found out he had tetralogy of Fallot, a rare congenital condition where four defects exist in the heart: a hole between the bottom chambers, obstructed blood flow to the lungs, an enlarged aortic valve and a thickened heart wall.

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Tetralogy of Fallot occurs in about 1 in 3,000 live births, according to the Mayo Clinic. A person with tetralogy of Fallot is expected to die by age 40 without treatment.

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He was given the choice to have open heart surgery. His parents William and Florence did not approve.

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“My folks didn’t want me to go,” said Harlo. “They were dead against it. They knew that nobody could live after having open heart surgery.”

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Harlo said he will never forget what his mother told him before the surgery. 

 

“I sure hope a miracle will take place so you don’t have to follow through with this,” she said.

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He had known his then-girlfriend Donna Wright for two years after meeting at a church group. Harlo said he wasn’t sure the relationship would last because he wasn’t confident he would live long.

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“It was very scary, but we had faith,” Donna said.

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He had his surgery July 11, 1968 at the Mayo Clinic. Doctors were able to fix three defects, but could not correct the thickened heart wall. An artificial valve with a Teflon ball was put in his heart.

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The night before the surgery, Harlo opened the Bible in his hotel room and found the verse: “Let not your heart be troubled.”

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“That was when I realized that I not only had heart trouble, but I had a troubled heart,” Harlo said.

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He was in the hospital with a fever for three weeks following surgery. Harlo learned later that it was likely some of the blood transfusions he received weren’t a perfect match.

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He received 11 pints of blood during and after the surgery. A typical adult body holds 8-12 pints.

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William, who mowed the cemetery for hay, said he went down and mowed the cemetery the day of Harlo’s surgery because he knew there would be a funeral after.

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“That’s when I put two and two together,” Harlo said. “My dad didn’t want me to have surgery. He never had any money and he knew he was going to have a funeral bill someday, but didn’t want that hospital bill.”

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The bill ended up being $6,000, which would be almost $44,000 today’s dollars.

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Part of the bill was covered by Harlo’s insurance, and South Dakota State Rehabilitation paid part of it.

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After Harlo began to recover from his surgery, Florence decided it was time for Harlo to get serious about the future he suddenly had. Specifically, his future with Donna.

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“She was still a senior in high school, and my mom says to me, ‘Have you asked Donna to marry you yet?’” Harlo said. “I had just had open heart surgery!”

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Harlo proposed on New Years Day of 1969, and the two were wed July 26, 1969. Harlo was 22 and Donna was 19.

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The couple raised two daughters and now have two grandsons. Harlo and Donna have worked on Harlo’s family’s farm near Bemis, where they still reside.

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Harlo and Donna agree the key to their long marriage is to work hard and work together.

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The couple also kept their strong sense of faith through Harlo’s second heart surgery in 2013, 45 years after his first one.

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Harlo’s surgeon told him he wouldn’t have lived more than six months longer without the second surgery. Harlo had an aneurism on his aorta that left it paper-thin.

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The surgeon said he wasn’t sure he would have enough time to finish everything he needed to do during the 12-hour surgery, but it was successful. Harlo now has a new artificial valve in his heart, which was made in Italy.

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“I was Dutch for 66 years, and now I’m part Italian,” he said.

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Harlo said he and Donna truly live by the vows they said to each other 50 years ago: “in sickness and in health.”

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The Wildeboers are having an open house to celebrate their 50th anniversary from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. on July 27 at Hope for Life Community Church in Watertown. They look forward to seeing family and friends there.